Pause before you play, huh?!

read time 6 minutes

Welcome to Setting The Pace Newsletter, a weekly newsletter where I provide 3 lessons, 2 tools/resources, and 1 action to help you set the pace in your life.

3 lessons

^{The older I get, the more I understand that we’re all trying to figure it out, and I am learning or being reminded of these lessons.}

Today’s ‘lessons’ are about feeling like you just need a break from everything and everyone and how you can use this 3-step lesson thingy to give you some space and perspective.

1. Stop moving entirely.

   Yes, you read that right. This first ‘lesson’ is one that will most likely get some resistance because it’s the opposite of what we’re told growing up and what’s accepted in society. However, as psychologist Tara Brach suggests, doing more can be highly counterproductive and leads you to feel overwhelmed and even more drained, especially when you’re in a situation that you’ve been trying to figure out for a while.

2. Create a Sacred Pause.

   This leads us to create a sacred pause. Tara Brach suggests pausing in the middle of sticky moments—you know, those moments when we should be listening but already have the answer at the tip of our tongues—yes, those moments. Instead, what Brach teaches us is to stop everything at once, take a breath, and get back to a neutral frame of mind.

   ^{This might sound a little out there, but trust me, it works.}

3. Understand that the pause is the lesson.

   After you’ve stopped moving for a couple of minutes and created that ‘sacred pause,’ — you can now move on to understand that pause was the lesson you needed and that the answer is within that very same pause.

   Let me explain;

   I’m currently at a crossroads within my own career and have been trying hard to map out the ‘next steps.’ It feels overwhelming, and my gut instinct is to figure it out ASAP. Now, whilst I want that to happen, it’s just not how it works. Instead, this week, I decided to stop looking or forcing myself to figure out work. Next, I stopped talking about the next steps and work in general as my ‘sacred pause’. Lastly, as soon as that mental traffic jam stopped, it was so weird — but things just kinda fell into place. My lesson was to pause and take this ‘time’ to do what I want to do and just accept the situation and enjoy the pause :)

2 resources/tools

^{I’m such a sucker for a good resource; these are helpful tools and resources that have improved my weekly life, truly.}

1. Tim Ferris Podcast: I love this podcast.

   Listen to the episode linked right above: My favourite quote from the above episode 👉️ “If you’re going to live a deep life, the ultimate original commitment is, ‘I’m going to commit to discipline in the sense of things I am going to do on a regular basis, because they matter, even if I don’t feel like it.’ And that is the biggest binary zero-to-one flip that happens in crafting a life.”

   — Cal Newport 

2. Headspace: wellness app, defo worth it. [use my 30-day free trial link]

   I am so glad I invested in this app. It’s been such a breath of fresh air and something I look forward to every day. I’m currently on day 3 of the ‘Fear of the Future’ meditation course, and it’s really helped me stay in check.

1 action

^{For this last section, it’s a very, very gentle nudge to do something that will make you feel good afterward, no matter how small the action. Feel free to adapt it or make it fit your day with the least amount of resistance.}

If you’ve read this far, thank you!

Until next Friday,

Mar X